I AND 愛

Ahhh! My computer crashed and I lost half a blog entry on here!
Stuff this! Haha!
Well anyway, I think my last blog entry was a tad depressing, I mean nothing’s changed but I guess I should update people on my less depressing current affairs because I know you’re ALL SO INTERESTED!
Exams are coming up, don’t mention them to me too much, I might go over the edge…
Lately the weather has been annoyingly cold and most of my clothes I’ve bought recently have all been very summery v-necks (I loveeeeee my v-necks, ya) so what I wear around the house is all very daggy. Ack!
Work has been so tiring but I need the money badly, haha, I’ve gone a real Cotton On & American Apparel spending craze and I’ve also been buying so much useless stuff, like fake navel piercings, which look hot by the way but I don’t really need them hehe!.
I guess there’s nothing wrong with being self conscious about the way you look!
I could do with losing a few kilos, I’m going to exercise a bit more, ya, hmm I am just feeling so damn fat lately ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Everyone says I’m skinny but SERIOUSLY DUDES!
Hmm I’m going to get my hair cut soon, not any shorter because I love my long hair but just get the layers done up again, can anyone recommend someone??
And my teeth are getting straighter and straighter everyday, I hope my braces are off by August, haha my new beautiful smile will complement my not so beautiful face hehe! But I still love crooked teeth everyone! Just not on me!
Alright, that’s it, I wrote more in the other entry but I’m too damn annoyed to type it out again.

Okayyy!

I freakin’ love you all!

x

i don’t get excited about anything in my life any more.

nothing shocks me anything more.

i feel like i’m a corpse that is living, just lifeless…

i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i have real problems, people don’t know, well some people do, they feel it too.

i am just waiting for either something really good to happen or something terrible, anything that can wake me up from this endless sleep…

ahh i used to really love life, there was one point where each day made me happy to be alive and every time i smiled i meant it but now, i don’t know what happened, nothing can make me happy anymore.

i don’t know why i do some of the things i do, is it to push myself further away from certain things or because it’s the real me or because other people make me…

some people have lives of sadness and terror, i don’t, but i still live that way.

i want someone to make me happy.

they’ll do it some day…

i know it.

"
I guess, deep down
My heart is not as pure as it was
And, my food is ruined
The freezer doorway to above
I’ll fire in the sun
I’m dying, just for fun"